When life ain't ever gonna be the same.

You move.

Someone important to you gets sick or dies.

A pivotal relationship changes.

You lose your job.

There are key moments and happenings in life that, like it or not, translate into one simple truth:

Life ain't ever going to be the same.

I understand this. Quite clearly, in fact.

In the space of one year, I've moved across the country to a relatively unknown town, lost my father unexpectedly to heart failure, struggled to make new friends and fit in, floundered at staying in close touch with old friends and family members, retooled my career, gotten engaged and am now building a new home with a new family.

For a gal who spent more than three decades in one little Midwestern town, with one main crew of peeps? It has felt, at moments, more than a bit staggering.

But here is what I have begun to realize. And this is something I believe will be extremely helpful to those who have been struggling with a layoff, termination or other circumstance that has changed their life picture dramatically:

You are best able react to, manage, and thrive through change -- even massive change -- when you first embrace the simple reality that life IS change. That it's all dynamic. All of it.

  • People can come and go.
  • Jobs (especially those cooshy ones, it seems) can come and go.
  • Relationships can come and go.
  • Geographies change, sometimes by choice and sometimes out of necessity.
  • Things that seemed like great ideas, may turn out to be dud ideas, and vice versa.

It is when you cling on to the old, wishing you could re-create a feeling, a situation, a circumstance, a relationship that's gone, a cake job you had, a life that is now different?

That is when you will start to struggle.

Change is tough. It's scary, especially if you're out of work and beginning to panic over what is to come.

Make it a tiny bit easier for yourself, though. 

Before you go one step further, try and truly digest  that life is dynamic. Don't just pay lip service to it. Sit down, contemplate, and consider the truth. Next, begin to consider all of the potential positive sides to this truth.

And then?

You'll much more prepared to begin building, and enjoying, your next chapter.

Guess what? It could be really, really good.

I know mine's going to be.